If you aren't a subscriber to my Zenith Trading Circle service, you might have missed some lucrative good news: Retail think tank Fung Global Retail & Technology reported U.S. retailers plan to shutter 6,700 retail locations this year. Credit Suisse says that figure handily beats the old record of 6,163 closings set in - big surprise - 2008.
"But wait," I can hear you ask, "2008 I get, but the economy's humming along now, so why the closings? And why are these closings good news?"
Well, I'll tell you.
As to the first question, these overleveraged, maladapted-for-the-21st-century retailers could screw up a free lunch; the U.S. economy could grow 'til the cows come home and they just couldn't handle their debts.
The retail sector as we once knew it is now teetering on the edge of absolute destruction, and there's nothing - and I mean nothing - anyone can do to save retail stocks. Diagnosis: TERMINAL.
Which brings me to your next question, of course. This is great news for well-positioned investors because Wall Street smells money - big piles of it - on the table... and it smells as irresistible and tasty as scratch-made chocolate chip cookies baking on a snowy afternoon.
Mmm... Hungry? Good. We're going to sneak into the kitchen while Wall Street's not looking and take a bunch of those rich, delicious cookies for ourselves.
We're going to make a lot of money.
And we won't have to own a single one of these clunkers to do it.