Bad news: The plane crashed.
You've washed up on a desert island, the sole survivor. You're stranded thousands of miles from civilization. It could be years before you encounter another human being.
When the chips are down like this, it's all-important to take inventory of the wreckage and your immediate surroundings.
Your very life depends on it. So, a look around your new home reveals:
Scrap airplane aluminum for crafting shelter and weapons…
A source of fresh water…
Natural fibers for fashioning rope, animal traps, and clothing…
Coconuts and pineapples for distilling booze of some kind…
A full set of Louis L'Amour novels…
An anthropomorphized volleyball to keep you from descending into madness…
Top-flight stocks that will pay you unreasonably high returns for the rest of your life…
Uh-oh!
In the stocks department, you've come up critically short. After all, the best stocks are the ones you don't have to worry about for years on end, and you won't be talking to your broker anytime soon – unless you want to pretend the volleyball is your broker or try and reach him on the other end of a coconut telephone.
Not to worry. All is not lost. Because I've got you covered with these, my very own personal "desert island stocks."